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ElectricManatee · Mar 27, 2020, 08:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Does anyone feel safer asking a T a question or sharing something than they are in person? Something came up today that led me to ask Dr. T something I'd been wondering for a long time about his professional life, and I think I felt more able to ask it because it was over video. And he answered, which I wasn't expecting him to, and we talked about it a bit. I wonder if he felt more able to talk about it in this format, too, or if he would have said exactly the same thing if I'd been sitting in his office? I think I also felt safer saying to him yesterday about how I was scared about him dying.

The question I asked today was

Possible trigger:

if he'd ever lost a client, as in, to SU. He said yes, that there were a couple cases where it wasn't entirely certain it was that, and a couple where it was. It surprised me. And he talked a little about what it can be like to be concerned about that from a T's perspective, which sort of gave me more insight both into him and what it can be like to be on that side of the proverbial couch. I think maybe it helps me also understand his reaction in August better, the rupture that led to me terminating.

So far my main T seems to be doing a bit more self-disclosure during teletherapy sessions. I'm not sure if it's the format or if she is trying to be somewhat genuine about her reactions since we're all in this together. In other words, it would be a little gaslighty to pretend that none of this is affecting her at all when we all know it's affecting almost everybody. I have asked her at least once how she is doing, so the information is not necessarily unwanted.

I asked her once about the thing you put under the trigger, but she declined to answer. I think it seemed too complicated to get into, regardless of what the answer is. That honestly intrigued me more, but I bet I will never know.