It really struck me that you describe a blankness about your emotions and that you are incessantly unsure about your feelings ... and yet you describe many emotional responses which you experience. You experience anxiety, you are scared, you feel as if you are running into a wall, you are worried, irritated, angry, sad. These are just some feelings which I was able to quickly pull out of what you have written. You don't sound blank to me. You sound like you struggle with your feelings in relation to an other (your therapist in this instance) and with articulating how you feel, but it sounds like you are feeling a whole bunch of big emotions. It is hard work and it doesn't come easy, but I think you are more emotionally fluent than you give yourself credit for.