& trust you are on the receiving end of small kindness' from those around you (there is pleasure if giving, so allow others to give to you) And maybe that didn't need to be said. You are doing all that you can. I think it is time for your T to respond by being open to hearing your thoughts and feelings without judgement, without labels, to simply be there and accept, offer what comfort and guidance he can---
You know what you need right now. Your T needs to let you guide the way.