my wife got home from a diplomatic mission to the hospital. some things have changed. the sister who "tattled" called back and admittd to having done the wrong thing. a good thing for her. she is a nursing student and if she has a problem with keeping confidences she is in trouble. my son read my burning down the house analogy and agreed it was a fair summary of what happened. his wife feels very sorry for laying a bunch of **** on me. They wanted me to go see them tonight. my wife called to say we would all do this tomorrow morning. tonight i am medicated on xanax and feeling like I am getting better, but have broken down uncontrollably with sorrow and remorse several times. this has been one of the hardest times of my life, comparable only with the grief of death in the family. you all probably think i am overdoing it, but all i can do is report what is so. i am not a "strong rugged man" about this, and my resiliency is not deep. i hear my grandson is doing well. he is having a hard start breast feeding, but have heard that big babies (almost 10 pounds!) are not terribly hungry to start off. so things are looking up. it will be a hard go, but go it will. i feel like there will always be at least a thin veil between us that was not there before. i will certainly never have anything to do with the crazy inlaws. i will also avoid at all costs any more of my daughter in laws micro managed events be they weddings, or births, or whatever comes up next. she scripts everything and raises hell when it does not go her way. this place is once again a life saver for me.