Hi. Ever since I don't have friends except one but not so close due to some issues. I am 29 years old and lost a job permanently due to the coronavirus. This past job was locksmithing. I went to school and after getting the job. I was unsuccessful. Was then placed indoor duty for a low pay. I happen to like women clothing. I would wear panties and bra at home like part time without anyone knowing. I also wear legging and I feel like a sissy when I did a bad job and feel feminine based on my body look. I feel down and stupid for unable to work harder in my life which result people I know married with careers. I am religious jew. I feel like buying more women clothing as a result for not doing well and have the fantasy of growing breast and transgender if I won't be successful in getting a new career and married and my not so close friend to sort out. I feel like turning into a woman as payback for what I did accidentally inappropriately to my friend and his wife and wish the wife will let it go. This is already 6 months. What should I do.