It's a difficult time right now all around, and to deal with a breakup on top of social isolation/social distancing, I feel for you.

Naturally, you're going to have all the thoughts you're currently having - nostalgia over the good times and the what if's, coupled by the realities of the dark sides.

Good for you for cutting the chord! Keep it that way, for sure.

If you ever have doubts, a suggestion is to make a negatives list for yourself and list out every cruel thing he's ever said to you, along with anything mean/abusive/toxic he did that made you feel unworthy, insecure and terrible about yourself. Then when you're missing him or feeling lonely, refer to this list and it will be a very clear, black and white reminder of ALL the reasons why you left.

I did this list for someone who abused me and I had a list of 72 items!!!!!! It REALLY helped me to get over him very quickly. I read it every single day and every single time I felt regret over the breakup. I knew I had done the right thing for myself, each time I read my list. It was very reaffirming.

Everyone here has great advice for you. Now it's YOU time. Find things to occupy yourself with, do anything that is enjoyable to you that is within your means, and think about how you are now FREE from cruelty. You can still call and face time with friends and family, so do reach out to those who can nurture and support you. Most importantly, nurture yourself and be kind to yourself.