I share this with you. Sorry you have struggled with it. I never talk about this with anyone, because it will only put people off more and they will just think I am an angry person, and I am not--not in the least. I am an extremely positive person, by nature.


That said, it has just been my own personal experience as an adult that virtually all the straight women (I am straight) I have been involved with really, ultimately only care(d) about two things: money and sex, in that order. Love, whatever that is, sharing parenting duties, those things are of zero value, at least to the women I have been with. What they want is money and to have sex with whomever they wish whenever they wish. This is going back to, say, 1988 or so.

So, I relate to what you describe. I do hope writing this down might help you somehow. For me, I have given up completely on women for me--not suggesting for a moment that this is some thing applicable to all or most women. But it has certainly been my personal experience.

Sending you support and love!!!