Thanks for the responses.

It's a new territory to me recently since it's been about four years since I've been this thin. I think since it's new to me right now, it's exciting. I haven't mingled beyond a smile, but I can't help but blush. It just feels good to know that I look attractive now, after all this hard work it's coming together.

If I was emotionally braver with a better self esteem I may talk more when men initiate conversation, but I am still remain shy as I was when I was chubbier. I don't think that will change just because my waist line is smaller.

Before I thought, losing weight might make me look better or fit in with everyone around me but it will not make me happier in anyway. So far, it has made me happier. I feel clearer minded and proud of my choices.

I hate to mention this, after mentioning it so often people just begin to think that maybe your pathetic if you've tolerated it as much as me, but...my husband has done nothing but put me down since day one. I feel I can never please him despite my best efforts. I could be working full time, going to college full time, and still running this household on my own and he will find a reason to bash me.

The reality of our relationship is neither of us are happy. We've patiently waited this year just like we did the year before. We're slowly separating further and further from one another. We still do not sleep together in the same bed anymore. If he agreed to walk out now, move into his own place, and agree to take care of his kids 50/50, and be civilized....lets just put it this way, I would help him pack.

I promised myself long ago that I would not make the same mistake my mother made. She relied on men her entire life. She went from one man to another to another...and never was alone. Once my husband and I go through our process (unless a miracle occurs) then I WILL remain on my own alone, no relationship till I discover some things myself, my strengths. I've never truly been on my own before, I refuse to be dependant.