The thing that made him the ex in the first place was basically, if I had to put it in a nutshell, ALCOHOL. He got a little on the physical side but not to the extent I was scared really. Lack of direction, lack of backbone, lack of expressing his emotions. That's really what made him an ex. And even without alcohol - I believe he is more honest but he still lacks backbone. I just really don't understand the big deal about telling people who are toxic how you feel and to not let them "run" you. Its incredibly silly.


I hate to say this - may sound cruel but I tell him all the time what an idiot he is. I love him to death but, I'm not going to let him make me feel like I'm AFRAID to tell him what I feel or to tell him what a coward he is. His sister, his mother, and even I offered to go fire this girl.

I'm starting to begin to think that the town I live in has something in the water - these people and the way they operate are nothing like I have seen before. There is no level of professionalism. No level of separating casual friendship from business. It's nuts. Don't know.

I fired her yesterday - now she's there at the store whining to him about her job.

I've got a good mind to go down there after work today, collect her phone, an kick her out. He asked me if I would do it - be it right or wrong I did. Sad to say, it makes me feel better.

I have just come to terms with "no worries". I give him 1 year to make changes in HIS LIFE on his own. I'm prepared to give up after that.

I told him that over dinner Saturday night. He felt it was fair and so do I. I am in no hurry for marriage and don't want children. Two things happen: #1 I end up with a really good man who worked on himself and resolved some issues. #2 - at 32 I will be free to pursue anything I want. The world will be my marathon. I win either way. I'm just not going to sweat the small stuff.