When everything happened to me I hadn't dreamt in years. I dream regularly now. Its like my episode sorta reset things.

Yes love. Not the passionate kind or the kind that you have when you prefer something, but the unconditional kind that accepts all things. I didn't want to see this 'dirty' part of myself that was broken so much that I held it in for over 30 years. I treated it like I hated it.

When I met that part of myself with love, I also offered the love of a mother. I am a mother now and I know what it means to love and protect a child. I'm safe now and I needed the hidden parts of me to know they weren't wrong or ugly and that coming back together was safe.

When we suffer trauma at the hands of others we are made to feel weak and broken and like we lack what they 'take' from us. Validation for yourself and loving the incredibly strong survivor self that you are paired with the scared victim you were feels to me at least like we're talking the same language. You see quite well My psychiatrist thought my approach was fascinating. On the one hand he was fearful I'd go too far too fast. On the other he said he could see these same themes in countless patients he sees.

Nobody told me this is the way. Its just a strategy I organically came up with. Kinda like physics and balancing out two forces. Fear is pushing so hard in one direction and it is your mind and heart gnerating it. You mind and heart maybe need to at first accept the blow, navigate to the root of it, see it for what it is (bring it to light or consciousness) and validate it. Then you can infuse it with a force that brings things back to balance.

The light and the dark are equally as valuable and powerful. I think some psychologists have this part confused when they say the subconscious is inferior. Facing it is equally as hard as any conscious effort I've made if not harder.

I'd be very interested to see what turns up for you on your journey. Follow your intuition. If it resonates, go with it. If it feels wrong, drop it. If it scares you, you're probably right on target. Go at your own pace. There is no wrong way except for maybe standing still forever.

Eta: I like this song for our discussion.
the tantrums don't ever let em - Google Search