Yeah makes sense. So basically they are saying things to be nice but in reality, they feel the opposite way. I've always wondered that and it's why I'm very careful about who I accept offers from and how often as well. Especially if it involves inconveniencing someone. For example, I don't drive, so I do a lot of walking. Every so often someone will ask why I didn't ask them for a ride. But that same person will get annoyed when I actually do ask for a ride. Makes me think that even when they are offering a favor, they secretly hope I decline.

Same for eating at my friend's house. Her mom has told me that since I'm there a lot, I should feel comfortable to just eat whatever I want and that I'm more than welcome to do so. But I know that she doesn't actually mean that. That's just her being polite. I would never just take food out of their fridge. Or anyone's fridge. No one really likes that. I appreciate the offer but I do not want to cross boundaries. And I think doing that is going too far even if they say they're okay with it since one day, they may show that they really aren't.