I am perfectly happy having mandatory solitude in my apartment for 45 days. Aside from some trauma induced OCD from food hoarding stories, this is like freedom to me. I write for a living. I always work at home anyway. Now, I never have to leave my apt for any reason. I have 3 articles for publications I'm writing, I eat very little, and I can have food delivered from the grocery store.

I was talking to my trauma therapist yesterday in my phone session about my reaction. We stopped teletherapy because it was too hard for me to connect to her. Bonding is tricky with me and teletherapy destroys that delicate balance we have carefully developed in her office. She and I have had phone sessions when I was undergoing cancer treatment in the hospital. We know how to do phone therapy. Anyway, she said she had been really thinking about my reaction because it's unusual. She said that the most likely reason why I am totally content in prolonged isolation is directly related to the kind of trauma I've lived through.

She came to the conclusion that since I have few bonds with the outside world, I don't feel isolated or lonely. Instead, it's a kind of relief because I don't have to struggle to make bonds that I am unable to make. I'm not at constant war with my own bonding deficits. She said she has come to an understanding of why this quarantine would be so freeing for me. She does specialized trauma work so she has a fantastic way of understanding the consequences of certain kinds of trauma other trauma therapists don't see often.

It was nice to hear that there is a completely reasonable psychological explanation for me being this content. I told her and my psychiatrist that I am one client/patient they don't have to be concerned about right now.