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Purple Heart
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Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 346
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Default Apr 02, 2020 at 04:54 AM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Have Hope View Post
Hello there. First off, I am so very sorry that you were sexually abused -- how horrible and awful for you. I know how incredibly scarring that is on a person.

Secondly, I think your issue is more complex and not so simple black and white because of your past history with sexual abuse. I am not going to advise that you up and leave your girlfriend because of the sexual attraction part. I mean, if the abuse were not there I would say, yes, it sounds like you're just plain not sexually attracted. But.....

is it possible that because sexual feelings have become foggy for you and due to the past sexual abuse, that maybe you are suppressing your sexual attraction and needs?

I am not a therapist, and none of us here are, but I think it's best to speak with a therapist further about this issue before making any decisions because I think it's more complicated than meets the eye. I think it may be good to explore with a therapist those foggy sexual feelings and what has happened to you in order to come to any real conclusion about your sexual feelings. And because it's happened with another girlfriend, I think it's possible that you bury/ignore/suppress your own sexuality. Possibly.

Also, I wouldn't advise making any strong conclusions about a relationship when thrown into 24/7 togetherness during a global crisis, and when fighting results. These are very tough times on everyone, couples included, and fighting is a very natural result of too much togetherness right now.

Just my two cents!
Hi thanks for your feedback. Due to past sexual abuse and C-PTSD I agree it is complicated especially when in a relationship. I will reflect on your observations and won't make any big decisions until I speak to my T next week. I agree making drastic changes during the global pandemic is not a good idea. Thank you.
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