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Originally Posted by ElectricManatee
My T has said something similar too. I think it's a therapisty ploy to reel the client back in when they are justifiably furious with the therapist. I mean, it's also not wrong in terms of how strong relationships generally work, but still...
Speaking of furious, @@, you might want to read this article that new cat posted. |
Yeah, I think you're right that it's a bit of a ploy, sometimes with some gaslighting and/or defensiveness and/or avoidance of admitting fault mixed in. Because mine will say that he can be frustrated or annoyed with me (and tell me), but that "it doesn't threaten the relationship," and he wants me to understand that. What he means is that he won't abandon me over it. Which I have come to accept. However, it can still threaten the relationship in other ways.
Like, after the big rupture in August/September, it took a long time for me to feel safe asking him for certain things, like I kept trying to be what I thought would be his ideal client for a while, fearing rocking the boat. I'm over that now, and I think our relationship *has* gotten stronger and we both have greater respect for the other person and their needs (this is me saying that last part, not him). But it took time and a lot of work and trust on each of our parts to get there.