Abusers are emotional vampires (their secret ) is that they NEED you to constantly explain yourself. STOP doing that, and only respond when absolutely necessary. Don't argue, respond, explain. The verbally abusive relationship by Patricia Evans saved my life after 31 years of an abusive marriage. wHEN you do that (stop responding to abuse) it takes away their power. I did it! Abusers are excruciatingly insecure and need you to respond; you wouldn't go into a mental health institution and try to make sense of the mentally ill ...abusers have issues they have never resolved and take it out on someone else.