Hi, I'm new to this forum and I've really only joined for help with this problem, so I didn't feel that making an introduction post was necessary. I'm a teenager in highschool with a girlfriend that I've been dating for almost a year and a half now and I'm really in love with her. We plan to one day get married and have a life together and I really want that for us.

Our relationship, however, hasn't been the healthiest for a variety of reasons. One of the biggest ones is a fetish I have. It makes me attracted to larger women, weight gain, tight clothes, and body parts that people aren't usually attracted to like stomachs, rolls, double chins, really anything of that nature. I'm not proud of this fetish at all and I want to get rid of it for myself and for her. I should note that I do not actively indulge in this fetish. I have quit masturbation and looking at anything relating to my fetish for her, which is something that I already had been trying to do, but I continuously failed as I had developed an addiction to it. Seeing how much it upset her, however, was the motivation it took to get me to stop. I'm scared that if I were to lose her over this that I would go back to doing these things, which is not what I want for myself. I still have thoughts and get turned on by people or things I see unintentionally, which is extremely upsetting to her, especially when I think about her in ways that she doesn't like.

But anyway, this part of me is extremely difficult for my girlfriend to deal with and although she has stuck with me and dealt with a lot, she's said that if I can't find a way to get rid of this fetish that she has to leave me. I understand why she feels this way as this fetish has caused a lot of tears for her and it makes her feel very bad about herself when I look at her or think about her in certain ways. Besides that, she also feels like she can't talk to me about issues that may trigger my fetish which is hard for her as well because I can't be there for her when she needs me sometimes. I don't want to hurt her anymore because of this and I would like to get rid of it for myself as well. I have to ask, is there anyway I can truly get rid of this? I can't exactly go to a sex therapist or anything, as I'm a teenager, so I've had to resort to Google for answers, and it didn't seem very promising. I don't want to keep seeing answers that say that I should accept it and find someone who accepts me because I can't do anything. I've seen enough of that and I can't accept it. I love this girl so much and I don't want to lose her to this. I will provide any other details necessary to help. Thank you.