I don’t mean that, it’s more an inner .. thing... that pops up to berate me like he did. I don’t believe it but I don’t like it abusing me. Also there is sometimes a small grain of “truth” in some of the ugly things abusers say. Nobody is perfect. But no, I actually respect myself and quite like myself most of the time.... for one thing, I am not a “bad person” but he did not respect me. Or have humanity or kindness.