Thanks bluebicycle, bpcyclist (noticing a theme here lol) and bird dancer for your responses. I'm sorry, I just get really frustrated trying to explain myself sometimes and I also feel bad about something I'm about to say now that I've actually been afraid to really admit before. Well, firstly, GP wrote me back today saying he can support me in pursuing individual therapy and psychiatry since hubby refuses to go to couple's. That's cool. But that's not really the issue. The problem is I'm afraid hubby won't pay for me to have therapy and psychiatry again. He said so pretty much when i was ending it before and i highly doubt he'll change his mind about it. To make matters worse, he just lost his raise and bonus because of cutbacks due to this damn virus crap. At least he still has his job, but we are going to have to cut spending again). This is just really bad timing! So I'm really afraid to bring it up again...and if I do, I want to kinda make a plan first, research for some good doctors and ones who can talk over the phone right now...but it's still very overwhelming. I haven't had the best luck with healthcare locally and I don't really know anything about places in the city, but I'll see what I can find out. But even if I make up a good plan, hubby may still say no, and I'm afraid folks here won't respect me if I can't get him to consent or get mad at him even...i mean, ok getting mad is all fine, but making me feel like I'm making a mistake with him is what I want to avoid. I do love him and we've been together a long time. And hes a pretty good guy, I just wish he could be a little better in a few key areas. Ya know? So there it is.