Dear kitkat98,

I am so very, very sorry that happened to your friend. How absolutely dreadful!

Wish I knew what to say that would be helpful but sadly I am at a loss. I read someplace that those who suffer trauma at the hands of others can sometimes still have feelings for those who have victimized them and can make excuses for them because of their feelings.

But since I am not a physician or medical professional and since my memory is not very good, this is not something you or anyone should rely upon.

Even with all that science has given us over the years, the human brain is still very mysterious. So many books and articles in neurology and psychology often contain the words: "the human brain is still poorly understood." These are works often written by the best minds in the field.

One famous neurologist once said: "The brain seems to have a mind of its own."

Our brains and the brains of other people often surprise us. Sometimes the brain prompts people to do things which are contradictory. I think there are sayings in your English language for this phenomenon, such as "love-hate relationship."

People often seem to run on "autopilot" so to speak in the sense that they take seriously whatever pops into their minds without seriously reflecting on it or deliberating about it.

People often seem to be illogical in the sense of holding contrary views at the same time as in things like Stockholm Syndrome. People often find themselves doing things which violate their own moral principles.

Perhaps your friend has ambivalent feelings about the situation you described. It is so difficult to know sometimes what is going on in a person's mind. There are probably trillions of things that go into many thoughts, feelings and decisions: genetics, millions of events from the past and so on.

Is your friend in the care of a physician and/or therapist for her PTSD? Is she receiving treatment? You might consider consulting a psychotherapist to learn the best way to handle the situation you describe.

One can often just see a therapist for a brief meeting to discuss a very specific issue and they often have a wealth of information and insight. They can often direct one to resources too that can be helpful, such as books and articles.

I think there are online therapists on the internet too. Not sure if they are reputable and reliable, but perhaps that might be helpful in some way.

I am sorry that I do not have the knowledge, experience and insight to help you. Hopefully others here will have better and more helpful words for you than mine.

What your friend suffered is horrible and I want to say again how very, very sorry I am that this happened to her. I think she is lucky to have a friend like you in her life.

Sincerely yours, -- Yao Wen