I'm a 27 year old female person, unemployed and can't drive but I'm learning. I don't have friends anymore besides my husband and I don't really leave the house because it's too expensive and stressful around new people.

If I go out, I like to go to quiet places where it's most likely going to be just me and the person/people I brought along. Nowadays it's just me, my husband and our dogs.

In spite of being scared of people and disliking most of them the more I get to know them, I would still like to find someone I can relate to and have genuine camaraderie with. I found a person like that in my husband and logically he cannot be the only person like that on the planet. All of my emotional support right now comes from my husband which is unfair to him. Plus, I haven't had friends in a long time and I remember it being nice to have friends that you can share things with, who understand you and whom you can depend on.

I'd like to have someone I can talk to, not just to help get me out of a hole if I need help out of it, but more to be like a brother or sister who I can joke with and share with and invite out etc.

Recently though I've begun to doubt that, that is what friends are actually like for others. I've been trying to make lasting friendships with a few people from different walks of life for over the past three years now, but they still feel distant to me and I know I cannot depend on any of them.

I feel like I can't really be myself with them either. Whenever I try to open up to them they seem off put by it and the distance between us grows. I watched a YouTube video by The School of Life channel where they explained you make friends better if you open up to them or give them a technical problem they can solve, they explain that people will become more distant if you are distant - so I tried that - I asked friends for help with some of the projects I'm doing and with stuff in my life, and they helped almost enthusiastically but as soon as the problem was solved they disappeared again.

I thought maybe I'm being too needy, so I set myself to only talk to them occasionally like once a week. Then when we spoke I would be polite, ask about their day, their life, their dreams - try to start a deep conversation... but nothing. The conversations just fizzle.

It's not like I'm just walking up and dumping all my emotional problems on them either, most of the time I just try to share thoughts and cool things I find with them - cool videos, a meme, art I made, a song I like, an article I found helpful - they respond politely but disinterested.

If I feel overwhelmed by some emotion and I can't deal with it alone and it's been more than a month since I talked to them about my feelings I will reach out to one of them. But it either ends in an argument, me feeling bad that I asked and me deciding to deal with it alone anyway. This, especially this, makes me feel so lonely.

I have similar experiences with people I work with when I have work or get help on projects, nothing bad will have happened between us - I will have done my best to be polite and favorable - even having my husband check everything I say so that I don't accidentally offend and then they just ghost me. Even if I asked to stay in contact and keep sharing my current work with them to show my interest.

It makes me hate people so much. My husband has a bunch of friends, he can complain to them about life or complain with them about work and it doesn't push them away it brings them closer and they bond over it. He can send them videos and memes, and they will actually watch them and laugh together or discuss. He can have serious hour-long debates with them about interesting topics. Why can't I find someone to do that with? I'm so envious of those relationships he has.

There's obviously something wrong with me that pushes people away. I ask people at the end of relationships to give me feedback as to why they dislike me, but this either annoys them or they ghost me. Like I'm supposed to just ****ing know what I'm doing wrong - I wouldn't be asking if I knew!

I've tried being more distant, I've tried opening up, I used to approach relationships quickly I now approach them slowly. I don't know why making friends is so hard. Do normal people expect and function differently in friendships than how I understand them to function or am I missing something about myself that makes me off putting?

How did you make your best friend? How does your relationship function?