Dear MatBell,
I am not very good with words especially in the English language, but I just want to express you how sorry I am that you suffering anxiety, which is weighing so heavily upon you. Although I am not in your shoes and would not want to trespass on the absolute uniqueness of your suffering, I can certainly identify with your feelings of great anxiety from my own current experience.
I wish I knew what to say that would help you, but sadly I am at a loss for such insight. I am taking it one day at a time, and sometimes one hour, one minute and one second at a time.
It is heartbreaking what you are enduring. I hope things somehow improve for you. I also hope that others here will have better words for you than my poor words.
Sincerely yours, -- Yao Wen