Just to clarify a few things:

No, my marriage is not abusive.

I would never threaten my husband with a divorce or anything in order to have him come to couples counseling because a) I don't want a divorce and, b) I don't believe in threatening as a way to coerce someone into doing something.

My husband wants very much for us to work out our marriage. We love each other very much. However, he has a lot of trouble with blaming me for everything that has caused the disconnection that exists. He thinks that he understands me perfectly and if I would just listen to him, things would change. The truth is, we both need to listen to each other and recognize the part that we each play in what is going on.