Pardon me, but it sounds like he wants YOU to work on your marriage, not him. I didn't say threaten him with divorce at all. Since it isn't abusive, then you can stay if you choose. Many women have done that, and gone right on with their lives, though not a happy marriage.

I think what I implied, and do mean, is that those who grow through personal therapy often outgrow the immaturity of their spouses. It's a natural outcome of healing and growth, imo.

It does sound like you expect him to respect your wishes because you know better (being a professional yourself) and that he rejects the idea because you do think you know better, and of course, he is saying he thinks you are the one who needs fixing because you're already in therapy (and if he goes to therapy, he has to admit he isn't perfect.)

Typical marital problem actually. But you can't fix the marriage by yourself, you can only improve yourself. If he won't play ball, there is no game.