I agree whole heartedly. I often feel like I'm dissecting myself or my actions to get him to understand but either he doesn't hear me or he uses my information against me. It's like he collects my "scripts" so he can claim them to be his own concerns against me.

It's interesting how he operates and how insecure he really is. It's quite damaging how he turns against me and convinces everyone around us that I'm the problem. I'm not the crier in our relationship, though.. he is.. so he gains sympathies from others.

My greatest concern is with him using the children against me. He's recently said something to my 3 year old. I sensed it. So I talked with her myself.. and not about dad.. but about me. I reminded her about who I am and what my role in her life is, and what she meant to me. I told her I make mistakes sometimes and I always try my best to fix them and apologize, as much as I'd like her and her siblings and her dad to.. that we work together as a family. I told her she can always count on me with important things, or if she needs help.. or just to share her day... etc. She responded by telling me she loved me (repeatedly) and when she saw dad next, she right away told him she loved me and frowned at him. Interesting.

I'm in no position to leave. What else can I do to prevent damage between my children and I? Disengage with dad's attempts, reassure them that they're loved.. anything else?