I've been reading this thread and I've been wondering, what do you all suggest to do if you find yourself to be on the abusing side? Because abusers don't have in their mind the clear intention of abusing, or at least, I know I'm not trying to be, yet it still happens, as the name suggests, as a reaction. Talking to a therapist doesn't seem like an option in the near future for me, which I imagine is 1 of the solutions to working out that abusive part in your personality, not talking to him\getting as far away as possible from the person you're abusing can hurt him as much too, as he is suffering from extreme lonliness and depression and already distrusts me and if I do so it'll just set it in stone once and forever in his mind that I want the worst for him, which I don't, I've tried working other people into the equations so they can hold me accountable whenever I do succumb to being horrible like that, but it doesn't seem to be working yet, and doesn't seem like it would work in the future too... this thread\article paints it as if no matter how sorry you can be and if you do realize your actions, there's still nothing you can do about it, and you're going to abuse till the end of your days... please, I don't want that to happen