Hello Ifddel: Thank you for bringing your concern here to PC. I see this is your first post. Welcome to Psych Central.

I'm not a mental health professional. So I can't offer you anything in the way of an authoritative opinion regarding what you are experiencing. Based on what you wrote though, my impression would be this has little or nothing to do with your sexual orientation & everything to do with anxiety & OCD. Here's a link to an "Ask the Therapist" column, from Psych Central's archives. While the writer's situation is a bit different, I think the therapist's reply is apropos:

Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or Denial? - Ask the Therapist

And then here are links to 7 articles on how to handle intrusive or obsessive thoughts:

Coping with Obsessive Thoughts

7 Ways to Stop Obsessing

Four Steps to Manage Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

9 Ways to Let Go of Stuck Thoughts

https://psychcentral.com/blog/5-ways...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/blog/some-i...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/blog/why-ca...dium=popular17

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.