I've been in a relationship for almost a year. Next month would be a year. We've had our issues.. From the beginning she had trouble trusting me because her best friend at the time kept telling her lies. I continuously had to prove the rumors false. And i did. She constantly went through my phone and found any small thing to fight about. But still, i loved her. We got passed that. We set boundaries. I changed my passcode. Well, a month or so ago she started being funny with her phone. Wouldn't even let me use the flashlight on it. I've been cheated on SEVERAL times. That really got me insecure. I let it go. One night she said she was visiting with a friend. I woke up in a heavy panic attack, drove to her house (she lives down the street) car wasn't there. I drove by her friend's house, of which she visited. Not there. I called, she refused to answer phone but would text. She was adamant that she was at that friend's house. 20 minutes tried to convince me. Then confessed she stayed with her mother. I don't believe that.

Stupid me put a tracker on her car. It was on there for 3-4 days. That week was great. Spent a lot of time together. All lovey dovey. I didn't need the tracking device bc she was with me the whole time. WELL, she got the code to my phone, went through it and found the tracker app. All hell broke loose. We didn't speak for a couple days. She said some horrible things so i had blocked her number. She found ways to text me "i love you so gd much. This feels like someone has died" etc. During the time we weren't in contact, i created a tinder. Had it maybe an hour and deleted it. So after that text about loving me and all, she came over and we had a good night holding each other and talking. The next day someone sent her a screenshot of my tinder profile. Back to another rage. That was a few days ago.

Last night she sent me sexual messages. She wanted to come to my house. I go to hers instead. She wouldn't let me in. Said she's scared of me. I asked her to come out to talk. Nope. She agreed to follow me to my house to talk. She brought a gun. That scared the f out of me. It was middle of night she said she needed it for protection. We talked. She said she didn't want anything more to do with me. Like forever. Because I'm crazy and scare her. Of course it hurt me. I cried then she wanted to kiss me and come inside. We had sex and i gave her a massage. She called me crazy And meant it. She went back home then said i manipulated her back into my life.

WTF? Now i DO feel crazy. I know I'm stupid for the tracker and i really messed up there. I owned up to it and genuinely sorry for it. Being called a manipulator because my heart is broken and i cried, that REALLY bothers me. Am i crazy? Did i manipulate her?