Hi Adelaydachic, welcome to Psych Central. Sorry you are being so challenged right now and when you try to own up to things you seem to get into more upset with this gf.

What is very concerning for me in what you shared is her choice to visit you and bringing a gun with her. I can't blame you for being scared by that. And that most definitely can get dangerous too. I had sought counseling from a therapist, actually marriage counseling and later I found out not only was he having an affair but the woman he was having an affair with met with him, brought a gun and shot and killed him. So, there definitely is a true danger when it comes to interacting with any unbalanced person who chooses to bring a gun into the mix.

In my honest opinion, this individual is very unbalanced and could prove to be dangerous. I recommend you end this relationship and reach out for therapy for yourself so you learn to understand your own part in the dysfunction you experienced so you don't repeat that with this individual or anyone else in the future.