Thanks for explaining it all rdgrad so I understand it better. Yes, usually a college campus is much bigger than that of high school so that's what is comonly pictured. What you shared helps me understand the dynamic much better.
YES, it can be a problem when you happen to be friendly with someone that another person had a bad experience with and they choose to distance because of that. It sounds like the one you reconnected with was just trying to repsect your right to be friends with anyone you chose, but she kept her distance due to her really not wanting to be around that person. That does happen and it's not really that you are not liked or are a bad person. And you are right, some individuals simply don't change and it can get to a point where you need to distance as well.
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She went two years acting way more distant but then suddenly wanted to reconnect. In fact, I think I know why she did that and it relates to another thread I started that was about others not wanting to associate with you if you're friends with someone else who's toxic. We were both friends with someone who always acted like she was better than others and loved to complain to get her way. Her way of getting the things she wanted and just in general getting her way was to act like she was depressed and angry only to be super happy and even rub it in when she got her way.
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Yes, this dynamic does happen quite a bit and it can be a bit of a challenge when you just want to be nice and get along with people.
I gotta be honest in that rather than be involved with a toxic person I experienced, I myself will often just distance altogether. I have tried to at least explain how I simply don't care to engage in things if that person is also going to be there too. Yet, I don't want the person I like to feel I am telling them who to like and not to like either. I think people have a right to like whomever they want and I personally don't like it when someone tries to tell me who I can and cannot like either. And it sounds like you found out why this girl kept her distance and feels safer now that you yourself have distanced to interact with you more.