wow, i can't believe it took me this long to come to this forum....i've been dotting around some of the other ones but, for whatever reason stayed away from this one. I'm bp. my mother is bp, and her mother, and her mother, and her mother before that.
I'm sorry, i'm trying not to be nervous. i'm slowly getting over my fear of posting, lol. Anyway, i just wanted to say thanks to yall for posting...I've been through the rapid cycling, though thankfully, the really rapid cycling only hits me in intense, crises situations.....so far. *crossing fingers* lol. The worst yet was on the 8th aniversery of my dad's death. i would stay in one state no longer than 5 minutes...and usually more like 1 minute....i went back and forth from being so angry i was hitting things at random, clinching my fists, looking for someone to say one even slightly cross thing to me so that i could just....well, you get the picture........to so hopeless and depressed that i was on the verge of tears which says a lot considering the last time i cried was the night my father died.....
I've also had the "mixed episodes", as i've heard them called. tired and hopeless, yet unable to go to sleep or even stop the racing.
i mostly try to stay on my own.....because i feel like just being around poeple hurts them some how, you know?
I just....thanks for posting....I don't feel so alone anymore. so.....thank you
sincerely,
Niemand (Dust)