I think it has a lot to do with needing support right now, thank you for this Lost. I think I find the lockdown threatening from that perspective. It's like I'm locked in my own head in the middle of a panic attack and also have to rely on T less. Whenever I bring the pandemic up with him I feel selfish and ungrateful and whiny because everyone else is going through the same thing. I feel like I'm burdening whilst at the same time i feel like I'm going mad being stuck at home.