Dear Purplemelon44,

It is so utterly tragic and heartbreaking what you are going through ! You must be so overwhelmed by it all. Wish I had some wisdom to share but sadly I am at a loss. I did not handle the early stages of separation very well so I am really the last person on earth to offer you advice. I suffered so many of the things you describe when I went through something similar. My memories of the terrible panics attacks are still vivid after many, many years.

Do you have any friends you can lean on during this time? I hope you can lean on us here in the Forums for support and friendship. Do you think that seeing a therapist might help?

Something that helped me a lot was a book called "Positive Solitude." I don't remember the name of the woman who wrote this book but it helped me a lot. To be honest, I don't know how I could have got through without this book. I have no idea if this book would help you and perhaps there are better authors and books available. I can only share what helped me personally.

I wish I knew what to say that would help. Hopefully others will have something really helpful to offer.

Sincerely yours, -- Yao Wen