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Originally Posted by BethRags
I so appreciate the support blue and fuzzy.
Well, I'm an anxious mess. I cannot seem to stop obsessing over the garbage my pdoc told me last week about needing video to communicate with her and all that (which is not true by clinic standards).
I don't know, it could be 6 or 8 weeks until I can actually go into my T's office again. I am grateful for her phone sessions, but I'm also not a phone person and find myself very anxious when using the phone.
I have tremendous relief because California is doing pretty well despite this pandemic nightmare. Still. Guess I didn't realize how much freedom I had before, to go places.
I've taken several Klonopins today; I have got to do something to calm down...I can't be like this. I'm so angry at my pdoc...I can never entirely trust her.
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Sorry if I missed anything, I've been taking in a lot of information lately and my sense of time is essentially gone (as for many), but did you talk to the office about this stuff your pdoc said? I know you don't like phoning (not a big fan here either), but I think it might be very worthwhile to do so. If they don't know it's happening, they won't know to do anything about it. Be direct with them. Tell them exactly what she said. Don't make them guess or infer. It is your best bet for making the call effective. This pdoc NEEDS to be stopped from making such false statements. Informing the office of exactly what she's doing is how that can happen across the board, because she's undoubtedly doing it to others too.
Sending thoughts for strength. I know it's not easy, but a) those falsehoods need to be stopped and b) I think it might help *you* in the process as well. Instead of it churning around and around, you can rest in the knowledge that you've done something positive about it.
You are in my thoughts. Good luck.
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Makes me sick to the heart, Oh I feel so tired. And the way the rain comes down hard, that's how I feel inside.
--The Cure