I am not pushing meds on you at all, but many pharmaceutical companies have patient assistance programs to help people who need/want medication but can't afford it. Also, you can look on GoodRx. I remember at one point, my Lexapro was like $8 if I used a GoodRx coupon vs using my insurance. If even $8 is more than your budget, then some meds like Seroquel XR (brand name) may be as low as $3 if you use the manufacturer's coupon. (It was $3 for me.)

Obviously it's up to you if you want to take meds, but I do think it's possible to work things out financially. I don't know how easy it would be to negotiate something like this, but many people do it because pharmaceutical companies gouge you. Some patients even rely on samples for a while until they can get their finances in order. Most doctors try really hard to make things work for their patients, and they are sensitive to that.

I can't guarantee you won't develop any ill effects, but there are many members on this forum who have been on the same cocktail for years and have not had any ill effects. They may have had ill effects from certain meds in the past, but my point is that it's most certainly possible to be on medication without having any ill effects. Usually the ill effects are seen almost immediately (e.g., weight gain, akathisia, etc.). There is of course tardive dyskinesia and tardive akathisia that can show up, but I think the tardive effects are very uncommon for most ADs and atypical APs.

Also, what is wrong with relying on medication? I think medication can be great for people, and I see absolutely nothing wrong with being reliant on it if it helps. But if you feel that medication is not right for you, then you do not need to be on it if that's not what you want. I fully respect your opinion.