I think teletherapy is difficult for everyone involved, especially when therapists oftentimes rely heavily on body language, facial expression, eye contact, etc. to assess how a patient is feeling/doing. Even when a therapist looks at someone on camera, they cannot necessarily see their patents' body language, etc.. It can also be difficult to see facial expression if the video is really laggy/choppy. So whether it's through video or on the phone, teletherapy is definitely not easy on anyone (IMO).

I think in your case, your therapist just doesn't see how you're reacting because you're on the phone, so she is saying things that she thinks will help, but she is not there in person to judge your responses/reactions. The only way she can judge your reaction is through your tone of voice (which even then can be mangled over the phone) and you literally telling her how you feel. That's not anyone's fault, though. It is what it is. It's the nature of the beast.

I think what might help you is telling your therapist that the level and type of care you're receiving from her right now is not adequate for your needs. Explain what you feel about her giving examples from her own life. It's 100% okay to tell the therapist, "no, this isn't helping me." Sometimes therapists don't know what they're doing wrong until we tell them, and they are oftentimes more than willing to make changes if you need them to.