dear friend , i feel so sorry things are going on the direction you described , 14 years is a long time , you must feel a substantial amount of pain and you may also develop feelings of defeat , maybe some self-worthissues , dont worry its all normal , as i feel your pain because i know it .

on the other hand im not sure anyone is capable of helpfull advice in this matter because every break-up has its own circumstances and the story from the other person side also matters too much .

i had my fair share of break-ups in the past , i never broke up with anyone , they always break up with me regarding my destructive personality and my addiction and drinking habbits that i had in the past ( gambling was a problem for a while too )

with every break-up i always felt left behind and broken , and the need to tell someone sorry was overwhelming to a painful level , i used to feel that i need true hugs more than ever going through a break-up , and the only person i really want to hug is the only person who dont want to do anything with me , ironic ,right ? to need someone to ease the pain , knowing that the only person you want to open up to about it is the reason im in pain already .

i suggest you give it sometime , and since there is no kids i recommend you go out a little ,try new fods or maybe cook or paint , reading was always helpfull , i sometime go to AA meetings becasue it help to talk to someone ,i used to talk to family members but not about my break-ups , i just reach out to them and have a talk with someone i know loves me for who i am only family feels this way about us , and dont forget to try to reach out to your man while doing that , find away that wont push him away any further .

coming here posting about it was a good choice too , you may find plenty of help here , this community helped me through the hardest times of my life .and im so greatful .
i wish you best with all my heart , and wish if there was more i can do , i know being separated is painful .

take your time to heal and make up .