I guess for starters , stop believing everything is your fault. Addictive personalities are developed from childood/adolescence and/or lifestyle habits. I once read an article that a person is more likely to develop an addiction if they lacked specific vitamins and minerals. Sounds like hogwash, to connect the two together, but I believe there's some truth to it, somewhere.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I can imagine it adds additional slices to your already wounded self for every woman he looks at. Truth is, the problem is not yours and no matter how attractive and sexy (and giving) you are, it will never be enough. That's his problem.. don't underestimate yourself at all.
The coronavirus has many people's lives on hold. Maybe you can't physically do anything about this right now but what you can do is develop a plan. What's your next course of action? How can you address your obstacles? What time frame can you give yourself to make things happen?
It's ok to be afraid about the unknowns. It's ok to panic. Life is all about taking risks and moving forward. Make this coronavirus the excuse to reevaluate your life, your future, and what it is you really want. My hunch is, this isn't it.
You DESERVE better and you're ENTITLED to better. If this has been going on for over a decade, there's a high risk it.will.never.stop. The only hope you have is to make changes for yourself. Reinvent who YOU are as an individual. Rebuild your self-esteem, your sense of self worth, and attitude. Don't allow him to sink you with him. Misery ALWAYS wants company.
Tough times. Pick up that pencil, tablet, or cell and start planning. You are not alone!