I went and got some KFC for my S.O.'s supper. I didn't shower. I didn't brush my teeth. I put him to bed. A piece of one of my teeth broke off. It's very sore there now. I took another hydrocodone, but it's not helping my sore gum. Guess I'll take another one. I just don't want to hurt anymore tonight.

I was doing pretty good for so long taking Vicodin 10/325 twice or three times a day. Today between my aching arm and heel and mouth, I've already taken five of them today . . . and I need another one right now. That's about the most I've ever taken in one day.

I see how people can get sucked into popping pain pills excessively. It doesn't seem excessive when you hurt. When you hurt physically as well as mentally, you just want the pain to be relieved.

I wish I could go to a doctor and say that I need help . . . that I need pain relief and I need depression relief. But I wouldn't dare. These days that would only backfire. I'ld probably just get my Vicodin prescription taken away, which would ruin my life. So I'm afraid to ask for help. I just have to pull myself together. My mouth is so sore.