Hi!

These days it is commonly thought that dissociation is a spectrum. On one end, there is extreme dissociation resulting in distinct personalities with no co-consciousness whatsoever. On the other end are fairly common experiences such as daydreaming or driving a car on autopilot, not remembering much of the trip home but just realizing "Oh, I'm home already".

Like you said, diagnoses can't be made over the internet and honestly there is no hurry to make a diagnosis. What *really* matters is your experience, how it affects you and that's what you can work with your therapist. At least you know you have a child part that comes up when touched a certain way (such as when your boyfriend touched you in an intimate situation).

In situations like that, you could talk to your younger self like you would to a child that age, and comforting them that everything is okay. One thing that I really found fun and grounding with my therapist, is throwing a ball back and forth, but every time you throw the ball you have to name a color you see. You can also throw a ball (or a small beanbag, or anything like it) by yourself. It's also quite fun for a child part. You can look up other grounding exercises online and find ones that you think would be good.

It would also be really great if you could talk about this with your boyfriend so he knows how to act if it happens again. Some people find these things quite hard to understand, but you could tell him you think something bad has happened to you and that's why you can sometimes become scared when touched. It's probably best to wait a while until resuming sexual activities, even if the child part is comforted. I tend to read mine to sleep - we always loved stories, especially ones with birds.

Hope this helps a little!
- Twilight