I think what you're feeling is perfectly normal and ok. Relationship stress can be a big trigger for old emotional stuff even without the added stress of being isolated and dealing with the fear of COVID.

As an alcoholic I used alcohol for years to deal with my unpleasant feelings. I suspect you did too. So when tough stuff comes up now, there's a part of me that just wants to say F*-it and drink to achieve a temporary state of numbness. But I'm not going to.

I'm not sure what your support system is like, but you say you went to AA in the past. Maybe check out some of their on-line or phone meetings.

Keeping in touch with friends is really important too. I have a schedule with my friends that we talk regularly so that no one gets too isolated.

I'm also doubling down on my recovery reading, writing, and participating in my program's on-line forum. I find it helps.


If you want an alternative to AA SMART Recovery is really good and has a ton of on-line resources and meetings.

Keep posting here too, and reaching out for help. We're here for each other.

splitimage