Quote:
Originally Posted by wheezyrose
My “recovering” addict bf is being a horrible person.
He’s making my life hell atm. I don’t know what to do because we’re stuck with each other. He’s ignoring me apart from for selfish reasons. He’s huffing and sighing which puts me on edge and he knows that. He just doesn’t listen or try and fix himself. He’s given up porn and masturbation but not the attitude that it’s my fault he went to porn and taking pics of other women without them knowing. Apparently because I wasn’t loving enough or giving him enough emotional support.
I can’t help getting in a mood every time I have a flashback or vision of you “having a poo” on the toilet. Every damn day. Or having found over 600-700 pics of so many different women on ur phone. And the memory cards full of porn. Duck my life. I’ve had enough. We’re so close to splitting up after 11yrs together. 10yrs of him lying and being a sex addict. He’s not even done 90 days yet. And expects me to get over it now.
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I fear this will sound "flippant" but it isn't. You do not have to be "stuck with each other". Honestly, I think you may very well need to break it off and move to another place if you want to move in a healthy direction. And it will take all you have to do that. It sounds like one of those "the devil you know..." situations and, perhaps, being pulled back into a world that you grew up in, were traumatized by but tied so closely to that the absence of abuse feels almost unbearable (eg: if you get away, you will start to think of "the good" or "the fixable" or that it is really about YOU as a person, it isn't and it is a long hard road to self esteem, self respect and real friendship)
As humans we make decisions first on emotion and then look for "reasons".
If you don't have a therapist (or peer support group) please look for one that specializes in trauma. (and check out some of the articles and resources here at PC) There really is more to life and you deserve to enjoy.
