I definitely never was the Golden Child. I remember reading that Golden Children have the hardest time believing their parent has NDP, even though they can acknowledge some of their behaviours.

My GC sister used to tell us, if "only" we were "nicer" to our mom, we would have a better relationship with her like she does. She still sings to this tune now, as an adult. She falls for my mother's victim role and often feels sorry for her.. and us sisters just need to "get our ***** together".. um, really? She, too, struggles with attention seeking behaviours. When she doesn't get the attention from my mom that she feels entitled to, she gets quite emotional about it. She's really an extension of her.. but I wouldn't classify her as NDP, as I would another sibling. She doesn't really have her own identity, though. She doesn't know herself well, has any interests or hobbies.. and can be quite insensitive to someone else's misfortunes.. or fakes it. I can't stand the fakeness.

It's too bad about your sister. How messed up she is from all that history.. and poor you, as well! Stay strong and believe in yourself and not let toxicity confuse you. Big hugs from my end!

So, now I'm questioning my partner who has a list of concerns that showcased itself before my existence. I don't think he has NDP but he definitely has issues around EQ. I was relieved when it was our counselor who pointed that out, through behavioural concerns I had in which he did not deny. But it's been said about NDP being a spectrum so now I don't know.