Wow. So much of his behavior you described sounds so similar to how my K will sometimes behave. Including the escalation. However, near as I can tell, her bouts of combativeness are usually triggered by a combination of stress and her time of the month coming into play. If she's worried about money or house chores, and then her period starts, I can expect to start seeing an escalation unless one of these conditions has a meaningful change.

A few differences though. Her escalation is usually over the course of a week. Starts with being "huffy" as you described. Then progresses to constantly telling me to do this or that, mixed with complaining that I never do anything around the house or for her (regardless of the veracity of this belief, I could have been doing a lot, but she NEEDS to have something she can needle me about). If we get to this stage, sometimes if I manage to change the circumstances (either financially or chore wise) it will nip it in the bud, and it's just a normal period for her. However, this isn't a surefire means of preventing it, I have found. And if I can't do anything about what's causing her anxiety, I'm boned. It makes me feel rather helpless at times. The next stage is either digging up something I did wrong in the past, and her questioning whether I'm doing it again (like talking to other women behind her back) and then escalating her anxiety about that by worrying I'm doing something worse (like full blown cheating). And I can reassure her countless times to no avail. This is partly my fault, for having betrayed her trust in the past. She then feels justified in not trusting me, and therefore in worrying that I'm doing something worse. Which only makes things worse, because I can only deny it, which she doesn't believe anyway.

After that, it will often progress to full blown fights like the ones I've described in the past. And frequently, the only recourse I have when we get to that point is to tell her to leave me if it's that bad being with me. We'll fight about that, with her accusing me of only being with her because it's convenient or easy and that I don't actually love her. It's a mess. Sometimes, I wonder how we ever patch things up.

So, while I don't think that they have the same issues going on, it's interesting how similar the behavior can be. Don't wear your toys out!