"Emotional intelligence is commonly defined by four attributes:

1) Self-management – You’re able to control impulsive feelings and behaviors, manage your emotions in healthy ways, take initiative, follow through on commitments, and adapt to changing circumstances.

2) Self-awareness – You recognize your own emotions and how they affect your thoughts and behavior. You know your strengths and weaknesses, and have self-confidence.

3) Social awareness – You have empathy. You can understand the emotions, needs, and concerns of other people, pick up on emotional cues, feel comfortable socially, and recognize the power dynamics in a group or organization.

4)Relationship management – You know how to develop and maintain good relationships, communicate clearly, inspire and influence others, work well in a team, and manage conflict."

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Ok, so it was addressed by our counselor about her concerns with my partner's EQ. I copied and pasted the 4 criterias and want to answer your question by using my partner as the subject. Refer to the numbers above and how I view him..

#1: Self-management – Impulsive. Speaks before thinking. Erratic. Reactive and emotional. Difficulties in following through with any plan. Inconsistent. Does not like change.

#2: Self-awareness – Reactive and emotional. Low self-esteem but often feels superior to others. Either becomes the "hero" in a given situation, or the "victim". Often comments about being unaware of his behaviours, thus it being "subconsciously" done. Denial. Blame.

#3: Social awareness – Low to no empathy. Often misunderstands emotional scenarios. Decreased ability to understand the emotional needs of others. Actions are centered to self and on the expense of someone else. Socially awkward. Often insults others as a "joke" and believes people think he's a nice/funny guy. Does not care about power dynamics, often trying to assert his own power over someone in a higher positions.

#4 Relationship management – A "one-man" show. Get out of his way as he claims to know best. Competitive and will sabotage others reputation to secure his own standing. Is drawn towards vulnerable people and targets their insecurities/disabilities indirectly but poses as someone who's a "saviour", or "supporter". Deceitful. A liar. Gaslighter.