I'm not sure, but it sounds like maybe she wasn't very kind or tolerant. Not everyone likes everyone else but as a lecturer she would be being very unhelpful to make any dislike towards a student obvious, and I would think it is also very unhelpful to ignore your attempts to resolve any misunderstanding.

Are you in therapy? Have any other people given you feedback on your communication styles which may have impacted this relationship with the lecturer?

As for letting go of hate towards her, maybe seeing her as a flawed human being as everyone else is... I doubt if she saw you as a ''failure'', maybe she had issues which made her less tolerant than she ''should'' have been.

I hope this is of some help.