Yep.. this is EXACTLY what happens.

I walked away from my family before I suspected about my mother's NDP. I instantly felt better.. stopped a drinking problem that had been an issue for just over a year. It wasn't until just before my 40th birthday I started to make sense of everything.

I didn't walk away entirely though. I chose to "limit" because, depite the circumstances, it's really hard to walk away! I consider myself quite sensitive .. often concerned about not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings or being an inconvenience, so whenever my mom was nice to me, I really struggled with thinking maybe I was wrong.

When I walked away, I was suddenly reduced to having "Paranoid Personality Disorder", seeing "only what I wanted to see". I was told I was "cold-hearted" and "mean" and that my distance was "abusive".. on and on it goes.

Everyone had an opinion (behind my back) and it was my NDP sister that made sure I knew about their low opinions of me.. although I chose not to read many of her emails.

I see these same behaviours in my partner. Surprise surprise, right? The campaign smearing began years ago.. the attention seeking, sympathy gaining behaviours. The accusations he has against me which were once concerns I addressed about him. It's the replay of scripts he now claims as his own. It's the blame game, the gaslighting, the lies and trickery.

It's a shame I fell into it again. Goes to show you how blinded one can be when abuse becomes so normal .. you no longer recognize it as a problem until it's too late.. and for me, that meant 2 children later.