Pink, after trying everything I could to improve my marriage on my own, I asked my H to come to marriage counseling with me. He refused. This was about 9 years ago. I didn't know what else to do since I had already been trying everything I could think of. This lead to a feeling of hopelessness--trapped in a relationship that isn't getting better and you just feel helpless. Now 9 years down the road, after 20 years of marriage, we are getting divorced. Maybe if we had had professional help back then, things would have turned out differently. The decisions we make can have far reaching consequences. I hope your husband will change his mind and go to couples therapy with you. If not, I hope you can find alternatives that strengthen your marriage.

My T, a family therapist, uses this book a lot in marriage counseling and highly recommends it:
Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships by David Schnarch.