I hear what you're saying and you're right. That's why if I learn not to be reactive then there's no need for him to name-call. I've decided to let go of the little things, as well, and move forward without any expectations of him. I'm just buying time for now and trying different methods from my end because separating right now is not possible.

I'm trying to normalize our situation as much as I can by focussing on positive things like our beautiful daily walks, our craft hobbies, book times, etc. We also switch off with each other so I'll take our dog for walks or I'll stop off at the store. I just want to limit 'my' time with dad and when we are together as a family, I'm trying to distract everyone with fun activities.

A lot of the toxic conversations we've had has been done via text. Now I'm no longer participating in that, either. I'm hoping my efforts will rub off on everyone and keep the peace for now.

As for my daughter, you're likely bang on and it breaks my heart. She is an anxious child. That's one of my biggest concerns about leaving. It'll heighten her anxieties. She's very attached to me. It'll affect her if she's "forced" to live with dad for a week. It makes me anxious, too. They are both so little. Breaking up now will tear us apart and my littles will be living part time with the abuser. I can't stomach that.