I agree to a point. It's all about understanding a situation to take away the hurt of why we "weren't loved". Once I realized (in my head) my mother has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, it really took away a lot of my anger and resentment. I realized it had nothing to do with me at all. The emotional detachment wasn't because there was "something wrong with me". It was because she was incapable of giving love on an emotional level. I believe her mother was the same.. and now my sister, too.

The hard part is, it's had a life-long impact on all of us. No one else has been able to connect the dots. It's very isolating. We all chose abusive partners without realizing. Physical abuse is pretty cut and dry. Emotional, psychological, and mental abuse is harder to detect.. especially if it's already been normalized in childhood.