Thanks for the additional information. Should you want to consider starting a new thread that is more focused on the relationship between yourself & your girlfriend, the Relationships & Communication forum might be a place to do that. Here's a link:

https://psychcentralforums.com/relat...communication/

One thing you can always do here on PC, if you're uncertain as to whether or not something you want to post on is appropriate for posting in a particular forum, is to personal message one of the moderators of that forum asking for their advice.

I have to say that, having read your most recent post, it sounds as though your fetish (if in fact that is what it is) is just one part of a complex relationship situation. And it sounds as though seeing a mental health therapist of her own would be an excellent idea for your gf if she's not already doing so. Personally I don't know as there is a lot I think I can say about all of this. I think the two of you are really in need of professional mental health services as individuals &, perhaps, as a couple as well. The reality of your relationship may be that, before you can work constructively on your relationship, each of you are going to have to come to terms with your individual problems if there is some way the two of you can do that. Assuming you're both in school, perhaps you could start by talking with a school counselor if there is one? (You wouldn't need to bring up the fetish thing... just talk about your relationship issues in general.)

At the end of your most recent reply you wrote: "And the thing is that I could change. If I really applied myself and tried with everything in me, I know I’m capable of being better. But I just haven’t so many times. And why do I do that?" You know... we all feel that way about ourselves. If we just knuckled down & did what we believe we "should" do, or "could" do, everything could be so much better. But we don't. I know I've been there hundreds, perhaps thousands, of times. Sometimes one just has to recognize one needs help & then figure out how to get it. The reality is, though, you & your gf are the ones who have to make that happen.... take the first step. It's like the old saying: "If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you always got." That's what I've done my entire life. And looking back I can see how misguided it was. But at this late stage of my life it's too late to worry about it. You & your girlfriend still have your whole lives ahead of you. Maybe you'll stay together. Or maybe the problems each of you have will simply be insurmountable & you'll go your separate ways. But either way each of you will be in a far better place to go forward with your lives if you figure out ways to deal with your individual problems as soon as possible rather than to continue to try to fight your battles alone.

By the way, you mentioned your gf struggling with suicidal thoughts. Here's a link to an article, from Psych Central's archives, that talks about how to survive suicidal thoughts:

How to Survive Suicidal Thoughts

Best wishes...